I feel an immense amount of joy. It is inexplicable. I feel relieved, renewed, and generally joyous. I belong to a family. I love these people. They welcome me with open arms and treat me as blood relatives treat one another.
But, besides this fact... I see the good in everything right now. I felt so jaded. Now I feel ecstatic. I do not know why. I cannot pinpoint the exact time when my dire melancholy mood changed so rapidly and radically to rapture. It was sometime between her ceremony at the cemetary and the following luncheon. I realized that this is one of the happiest ceremonies possible. She is HAPPY- In all senses of the word. The joy I feel right now cannot be diminished with faulty words. I cannot describe my emotions in a way that would fully justify the pure and inexplicable base of it. I feel that somehow... mawmaw and God collaborated and brought me this gift in one way or another.
She is on one cloud. But I am on another. I hope I stay up here. I realize I am not afraid of death anymore. I should not be afraid of ANYTHING anymore. God supports me and brings me swift relief. It leaves me breathless to realize how quickly He knows what I need and how quickly he remedies any unpleasant conditions. This is not a fluke. It is not a coincidence. This contains meaning in the purest sense of the word... and though I cannot explain the exact meaning because I myself do not know, I know that this is beautiful. Life and death, hand in hand, are beautiful. Each is a gift. I will accept both willingly. I am so thankful, today.
I hope I never come down from here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment