I wish I had something more solid to hold on to. Mr. Heinus or whatever your name was....you were more right about me than I'd thought. I think in general terms, not specifics, and I think abstractedly, which may sound like a pretentious thing to say but I think in my case thinking in abstracts has never been so great.

I don't create these memories for myself. Maybe I'd rather live through a dream or a story. I began with memories and those never worked. Rebirth through reading and lived through that. And I always live through some sort of story. I can't snap out of things. One day I hope to create my own memories and stories, things concrete and specific, things I can point out and say here's where I came from, here's where I was, here's how it happened, and here's why it means anything at all in this world.

It's all mist and haze right now to me.