I feel so weird today. So anxious this morning, I felt like something bad was happening to me or I was losing me because I was in the same place as my bad trip. But then I drove and it didn't get a lot better and got home and my mom made me feel like something bad was going to happen. She just looked like death with those huge black bags under her eyes and she couldn't get off the stairs. She scared me. I read a little bit of what Sam said on gmail. I miss him so much. God so much. He made me feel so comfy and safe, something no one else can really do. I miss you Sam blahblahablahhahsdlfjdlfj. I don't feel right today, please be with me.